A Mother's Reflection

What a wild year it's been. So many long nights. Enough tears to fill up one of the great lakes.  Many days filled with fear and anxiety. Moments of disappointment and failure. Moments of momentous successess. Moments of resounding laughter echoing about. Moments of  joy bursting at the seams.

December 31, 2012....a year ago to this date I was home with a broken heart counting down to a new year with a broken family. Three of us at home and one intubated at the Children's Hospital. I had never felt more miserable, alone, and empty then on that very night. I wasn't even prepared for what was coming my way but I soon learned that this feeling of sadness, worry, and fear would overtake me.

I could remember how encouraging the first month was with many family and friends reaching out to us via phone calls, visits, texts, and emails. Looking back the first month was difficult but it was the months that followed that put me through the fire. It was having Noah home that brought me to my knees. The next few months I was consumed with cleaning wounds, dealing with infections, battling severe acid reflux, nap training, pumping breastmilk, learning to be a mother of two, and not neglecting my husband. I am thankful for those who never forgot about us past the first month. Those who still visited, still asked about Noah, still called, still sent messages of prayers. I know God heard all those prayers and was merciful to us. I am more thankful that the Almighty never let me go. He was there by my side at every step.

This entire experience has humbled me. Who am I not to have trails or troubles? I am nothing but a sinner. I deserve this and much more. I am grateful. I have learned patience, love, grace, mercy, forgiveness, and faith. For my precious Noah all I can say is "you are fearfully and wonderfully made." God has chosen you for this experience. You will grow up and share this testimony. Great things will come from you. And three simple words that have a meaning deeper than the depths of the ocean: I love you.

If you are dealing with PRS or any medical condition, Keep your Faith in Christ. It is HIS peace and comfort that has seen me through the tears I have shed. It is HE who will continue to guide us and see us through this journey. We pray that the hardest moments have passed but nonetheless we have complete confidance on our Father above who holds Noah and our entire family in His hands.

A thank you for all who have supported us through every single step, every surgery. Who celebrated the ups and hugged us through the downs. We see Christ through you.